Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
