hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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