Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
