He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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