Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
