thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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