The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
