JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
