One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
