so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
