This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
