hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i think i have two assholes
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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