i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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