My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
