Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
