You're my little dorito
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
