I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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