I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
