Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
