So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
