Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
