Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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