If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
