Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
