Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
