drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
