Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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