Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
