Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We don't watch enough power rangers
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
