I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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