We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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