I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
