You're completely useless in the revolution.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My liver just had a heart attack.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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