thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
