then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
