I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
