its not stalking. its research.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
