I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
