Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize