You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
