Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she told me i tasted like america
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
