waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
