I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
