whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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