You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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