We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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