What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
