K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
