Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
