I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
