I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
