she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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